Barbara Deba

There are no words to express what it is like for those who knew and loved her to lose such a precious person.

Throughout her life she had many names:

• Barbara
• Barb
• Mommy
• Mom
• "Mud"
• Grammy

No matter what name you knew her by, she was simply a special and unique person who lived with a level of faith and perseverence in her last years of life that every person should aspire to.

Barbara touched the lives of so many people and her legacy lives on in the lives of others that knew her and were changed because they did.

She lived the last four years of her life fighting a disease called Amytrophic Lateral Sclerosis (ALS or Lou Gehrig's Disease). And "fight" is the appropriate word. She, of course, had a mix of anger, self-pity and confusion after her diagnosis, but over time all of that turned to acceptance and faith. Her mental and spiritual strength in the midst of constantly decreasing physical strength was a testament of the human spirit in its most pure form.

Grammy always LOVED this picture of Hailey and Andrew

It is hard to believe that she is actually gone. Even though ALS is a fatal disease, 100% of the time, it was impossible to believe that this was true in her case. Her passing was anything but unexpected, but there was still shock that it actually came to pass.

While anyone diagnosed with such a terrible disease would have the "right" to feel angry and to question why they are afflicted, Barbara was different. Many times she would even venture to say that she was blessed. She felt blessed to have lived all of the life that she did. She felt blessed to have seen her three children grow up and get married. She felt blessed to have held her five grandchildren, who were certainly a major force behind her perseverence to fight on day after day. She felt blessed because she understood that even in light of her circumstances, there are others in this world that do not get to experience these things. We don't know how she could feel this way, but she did, and it was genuine.

We love you and miss you SO much!

You are in our hearts and thoughts every day!

My Forever Treasure

Today I'm not with you in kind.
Clearly remember my heart remains
Love unconditional that did bind
Hold one another, grieve, but release with a smile.
Your heart may ache, but it will heal
You're here still to keep my watch.
Treasure the moments past, time to reveal
The Joy, the Love, the Faith you have in God.

Strength may seem a lifetime away,
You won't forget, I know
Bide your moments, be sad, do no sway.
Welcome your ability to weep.

Look at your babies and angels yet to come
That's the life force you must embrace.
My transition, please remember, was a beautiful one!
I am blessed, truly blessed.

For tho' my path was a shorter one
The twists and turns brought revelation
Of late I chose to walk, not run
To know the florals and the greenery

Smooth river rock lined the way, nature's earth tone.
Shaded velvety ferns, waxed Lilies of the Valley.
Delicate fragrance permeated soul to bone.
Wafting, infinite memories preserved.

Of this I needn't ask, but to ease your spirit
Look to your future and joys ahead
Pray of your loss, He will hear it.
But patience my loved ones, to ease your moments.

- Barbara's words, April 2004 ©